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Lair Of The Minotaur: Evil power

05/01/11 || revenant

“We fucked them all
Let’s fuck them all again
Let’s kill these motherfuckers
We fucked them all
Let’s fuck them ‘till they’re dead
Let’s kill these motherfuckers”

That, right there, is a piece of fucken poetry for the ages. People of future generations will speak the names of Byron, Shelley and Lair of the Minotaur in the same breath. Already Hallmark are in negotiations to use Lair of The Minotaur lyrics for their greeting and Valentine’s Day cards. Many University’s across the planet are creating new classes to study… ah fuck it, I can’t keep this pretense up any longer. How drunk do you have to be to enjoy lyrics such as these? Me? I’d have to be leaning at a 45 degree angle against a pole for support because the room is spinning like a top, all the while trying to drink yet somehow missing my mouth with every attempt and pouring the alcohol down my shirt.

But sadly, that passage above is not the worst of it. This line is:

“These cunts fight like women”

Wow, what do you say to that? I mean, do they fight in jelly or mud or something? Or maybe they fight like this? Or is it they just because give you the silent treatment after the fight?

OK, let’s put the shitty lyrics aside for a moment and review the music. Lover of the Man-whore play dirty stoner/doom metal. I say dirty because the production on this one is filthier than a ten dollar hooker. That’s not to shit on the production, I like it dirty when it suits the music, which in this case it definitely does. The vocals are a mix of (mediocre) yells and (also mediocre) screams, but again fit well into the music. I have to say I quite like the overall sound they produce, which is what drew me to them in the first instance.

After initially listening to this record I liked it a lot. On the surface this one one kick arse record. Then I gave this record a few more listens, it began to sink in, and I found myself wondering, is this all there is?

For here is the core root of the problem with Lover of the Man-whore: great sound, but they really don’t go anywhere with it. “Evil Power” is only a nudge over 30 minutes long, yet it only takes until track 6 (“Hunt and Devour”) for it to start getting repetitive and, to be honest, a little dull. “Hunt and Devour” even gives the impression of re-hashing the same riffs from earlier in the record, that’s how samey it feels. The more I listened, the more limited and repetitive this album became, and the more repetitive it became the more dull it seemed.

Credit where credit is due: the title track is excellent. But the band has not backed it up. There are a couple of other decent tracks, but nothing else on the album really grabs you by the balls. The songs are short, but in many instances I get the impression they cut the track off not to keep it deliberately short, but because they didn’t know where to take it.

So after initially thinking this album could be “the shit”, I ended up concluded that it’s just a bit better than shit. “Evil Power” is a very uninspiring album, and I doubt I’llbe checking any other works by the same band in the future.

Information
Released: 2010
Label: The Grindhouse Records
Website: Lair Of The Minotaur MySpace
Band
Steve Rathbone: vocals, guitars
Nate Olp: bass
Chris Wozniak: drums

Tracklist
01. Attack the Gods
02. Let’s Kill These Motherfuckers
03. Riders of Skullhammer, We Ride the Night
04. Evil Power
05. Goatstorm
06. Hunt and Devour
07. Metal Titans (obviously about another band)
08. Blood From the Witch’s Vein
09. We Are Hades
10. Death March of the Conquerors
11. The Violent Iron Age of Man

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